I was just talking to an agent, and we had a pretty poor phone connection, and he mumbled. He was giving me the client’s name, and I couldn’t understand what he said, so I asked him to repeat it.
He said “Her name is Hope, as in ‘I Hope you get this right.’”
Really? My middle name is Enjoy, as in “I hope you Enjoy it when I break my foot off in your ass.”
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
I'm Punk!
I colored my hair on Saturday. I wanted to try a new and different color, so I went for nice dark burgundy.
When I was done rinsing/conditioning and took the towel off my hair, my first thought was “Wow! That is REALLY dark!” I was a little worried, but figured I wouldn’t freak out until I dried my hair.
When it was dried and styled, I was very happy, because I love the shade!! So I went bopping around all weekend all dark-tressed and pleased.
When I went to the bathroom a little while ago, I noticed for the very first time (maybe because of the fluorescent lighting, who knows) that where my hair was gray, it is now purple!! Full on, dark rich, purple!!!
It made me laugh, because that is something you wouldn’t ever expect from me. It gives me a nice bad-ass punk kind of look; even though I’m the same wussy girl I’ve always been and will forever be.
When I was done rinsing/conditioning and took the towel off my hair, my first thought was “Wow! That is REALLY dark!” I was a little worried, but figured I wouldn’t freak out until I dried my hair.
When it was dried and styled, I was very happy, because I love the shade!! So I went bopping around all weekend all dark-tressed and pleased.
When I went to the bathroom a little while ago, I noticed for the very first time (maybe because of the fluorescent lighting, who knows) that where my hair was gray, it is now purple!! Full on, dark rich, purple!!!
It made me laugh, because that is something you wouldn’t ever expect from me. It gives me a nice bad-ass punk kind of look; even though I’m the same wussy girl I’ve always been and will forever be.
Friday, March 21, 2008
Home Sweet Home
Well, they finally moved me, so I am now sitting right next to my Heidi. YAY!!!!
Look out, Crump, the Hos are consolidating their power.
Look out, Crump, the Hos are consolidating their power.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Seriously weird dream
So, last night I had a very weird dream.
I went to the beauty salon, and I got cornrows!!! I know!!! I looked just as you would imagine I would look with cornrows- horrible. I remember I was freaking out, wondering how you wash them, and wouldn't they get frizzy? And then I combed my hair, and a few of the cornrows came right out in the comb.
But there were really cool beads at the end of each braid- a round bead with some funky Celtic engraving.
And I was all worried because I had to go to work the next day, and I was thinking nobody would like them, and I was worrying over the comments I was going to get.
Thankfully, I woke up before I actually got to work, because I don't think that part of the dream would have been pretty.
Where in the heck did that dream come from?!?!?!
I went to the beauty salon, and I got cornrows!!! I know!!! I looked just as you would imagine I would look with cornrows- horrible. I remember I was freaking out, wondering how you wash them, and wouldn't they get frizzy? And then I combed my hair, and a few of the cornrows came right out in the comb.
But there were really cool beads at the end of each braid- a round bead with some funky Celtic engraving.
And I was all worried because I had to go to work the next day, and I was thinking nobody would like them, and I was worrying over the comments I was going to get.
Thankfully, I woke up before I actually got to work, because I don't think that part of the dream would have been pretty.
Where in the heck did that dream come from?!?!?!
Monday, March 10, 2008
What is up with East Coast Governor's Mansions?
Seriously, the one in New Jersey turned Jim McGreevy gay, and the one in New York apparently turned Eliot Spitzer into a whoremonger.
I sure hope someone is keeping an eye on Connecticut.
I sure hope someone is keeping an eye on Connecticut.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Happy Thursday!
I need to stock up on juice. I AM SO SICK OF DRINKIG WATER!!!
In happy news, they are definitely moving me to the empty desk next to Heidi Ho! Yay!!! They said it will be a week or two, I hope it’s closer to one week.
Little does Crump know what is about to be unleashed upon it.
In happy news, they are definitely moving me to the empty desk next to Heidi Ho! Yay!!! They said it will be a week or two, I hope it’s closer to one week.
Little does Crump know what is about to be unleashed upon it.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Depressed and Cranky
First of all, Mother Nature is a lying, trick-playing bitch! We were supposed to have nice warmish mild weather this week, and instead it's cold and windy and it may snow tonight. What the hell?
Second, when I was brushing my hair today, I noticed it was time to touch up the color. I could tell by all the gray I could see in my hair. Lots and lots and tons and tons of gray!
Third, I am pretty much separated from the rest of my department at work. They moved almost everyone but me, shifting everyone over a row or two, leaving me next to an empty desk and the DI bitches.
There is an empty, available spot right in the middle of the rest of the team, and I could sit there. I asked why they didn't move me there, and John said they wanted to move as few people as possible. What the hell??? They were moving so many already, just one more would have made a difference?
John said they might move to that spot this week, but I'm not exactly holding my breath.
That desk would be ideal, though. I would be right next to my Heidi Ho!! And I could help take some of the Ruth attention off of her.
Wait, maybe it's not such a good idea after all...
Second, when I was brushing my hair today, I noticed it was time to touch up the color. I could tell by all the gray I could see in my hair. Lots and lots and tons and tons of gray!
Third, I am pretty much separated from the rest of my department at work. They moved almost everyone but me, shifting everyone over a row or two, leaving me next to an empty desk and the DI bitches.
There is an empty, available spot right in the middle of the rest of the team, and I could sit there. I asked why they didn't move me there, and John said they wanted to move as few people as possible. What the hell??? They were moving so many already, just one more would have made a difference?
John said they might move to that spot this week, but I'm not exactly holding my breath.
That desk would be ideal, though. I would be right next to my Heidi Ho!! And I could help take some of the Ruth attention off of her.
Wait, maybe it's not such a good idea after all...
Sunday, March 2, 2008
I'm Alive!
Okay, I'm a bad Trish. I haven't updated in over two weeks. But between computer issues and being sick (damn you, Gaby!!) and having a boring life I haven't felt like writing.
And I'm sad. I miss my Marisa Ho! The office isn't the same without you. I can't wait for you to visit us. Another hooker dinner would be a blast!
I'm also pissed at Mother Nature, that bitch. We were supposed to have a warm, sunny, 57 degree day yesterday, and what we got was cold, clouds and snow! Spring can't get here quick enough for me.
And I'm sad. I miss my Marisa Ho! The office isn't the same without you. I can't wait for you to visit us. Another hooker dinner would be a blast!
I'm also pissed at Mother Nature, that bitch. We were supposed to have a warm, sunny, 57 degree day yesterday, and what we got was cold, clouds and snow! Spring can't get here quick enough for me.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
When your Ho must go
So, Woolsey thinks she needs to move to Oregon. Whatever. I mean, leaving your cool co-workers and friends to be with your husband and child and family? What kind of messed-up priorities are those?
This is her last week, and a very sad week here at Crump. I only have a few more days to barely be able to peek my head over my cubicle wall and see her little head barely peeking over her cubicle wall back at me. SIGH…
But we have e-mail and our blogs, and all kinds of ways I can stalk… er, keep in touch with Marisa.
And how fun would it be to pack a car full of Hos and drive up to Oregon to visit her?
Tonight we are going to the Training Table for a farewell dinner, and we are going to tear that place UP!
This is her last week, and a very sad week here at Crump. I only have a few more days to barely be able to peek my head over my cubicle wall and see her little head barely peeking over her cubicle wall back at me. SIGH…
But we have e-mail and our blogs, and all kinds of ways I can stalk… er, keep in touch with Marisa.
And how fun would it be to pack a car full of Hos and drive up to Oregon to visit her?
Tonight we are going to the Training Table for a farewell dinner, and we are going to tear that place UP!
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
I miss carbonation!!
I am craving a Diet Coke SO BAD!!!!! I’m Jonesin!!! But I’m sure one of the supportive, helpful bitches in my office will come over and open one in my face and then laugh and laugh….
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Lent
Lent started yesterday, and this year I am giving up carbonated beverages.
You are supposed to give up something you enjoy, and which will be a sacrifice, and this fits the bill on both counts. I hear soda cans popping open at other desks in the office, and I almost cry. But it is good for my soul. And my body! Hopefully this will help me lose a little weight.
So while I will miss my Diet Coke With Lime, and my Ginger Ale, and my occasional Sierra Mist, I shall instead drink the sweet, sweet nectar of personal sacrifice and the physical and spiritual benefits thereof.
You are supposed to give up something you enjoy, and which will be a sacrifice, and this fits the bill on both counts. I hear soda cans popping open at other desks in the office, and I almost cry. But it is good for my soul. And my body! Hopefully this will help me lose a little weight.
So while I will miss my Diet Coke With Lime, and my Ginger Ale, and my occasional Sierra Mist, I shall instead drink the sweet, sweet nectar of personal sacrifice and the physical and spiritual benefits thereof.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Holy crap, I'm sick of snow!!!
Okay Mother Nature, we get it!! You can make water fall from the sky.
We are all super-duper impressed, but could you knock it off now?
We are all super-duper impressed, but could you knock it off now?
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
I Voted!
This 8-5 shift has some advantages. I was able to vote first thing this morning!
I’m glad for several reasons- I beat the large after-work crowds, I can go right home after work and start watching the election coverage, and most important of all- I get to wear my “I Voted” sticker all day long.
I was actually the first person to vote at my polling place. Cool, huh? I got there at about 7:02 and got through the process very quickly.
There was one moment that will make all who know me laugh. The lady taking my signature asked if I was affiliated with either party. I told her I’m not, and she asked “are you intending to vote Republican today?”
I said “NO” and refrained from breaking out into massive giggles or slapping her to the ground and then proceeded to cast my vote for our next President, Barack Obama.
Now I’m basking in the patriotic glow of taking part in the democratic process.
God Bless America!
I’m glad for several reasons- I beat the large after-work crowds, I can go right home after work and start watching the election coverage, and most important of all- I get to wear my “I Voted” sticker all day long.
I was actually the first person to vote at my polling place. Cool, huh? I got there at about 7:02 and got through the process very quickly.
There was one moment that will make all who know me laugh. The lady taking my signature asked if I was affiliated with either party. I told her I’m not, and she asked “are you intending to vote Republican today?”
I said “NO” and refrained from breaking out into massive giggles or slapping her to the ground and then proceeded to cast my vote for our next President, Barack Obama.
Now I’m basking in the patriotic glow of taking part in the democratic process.
God Bless America!
Monday, February 4, 2008
Would you like entrails with that?
I go to Carlucci's for lunch about once a month, and it's quite a nice experience. Yummy sandwich, unusual drink, and a delicious treat to make everything perfect. The people that work there tend to be unique and funky, which adds to the fun vibe.
But the dude who took my order today went beyond unique and funky into the realm of possible serial killer. He had big black glasses through which he stared unblinking at me with that Ted Bundy/Charles Manson look women love and cherish so well.
It was a little unnerving, and I had to give him my name so they could call me when my order was ready. I wasn't quick enough to think to give him a false name. When I was at the register he passed by a few times, taking orders to people, and each time he would stare at me creepily again.
And then he messed up my order! I ordered a chicken salad, and he brought a chicken salad sandwich. I guess I should have asked for a chicken salad salad.
Fortunately he brought the food and left, and I told the guy working the register about it, and he corrected the order. If Bundy Manson had been the only one there, I just would have taken the sandwich and left, so my head would still be attached to my body while I ate my lunch.
Okay, okay, I'm sure he's not actually a serial killer, and is probably a perfectly nice young man, but it kind of freaked me out.
But the dude who took my order today went beyond unique and funky into the realm of possible serial killer. He had big black glasses through which he stared unblinking at me with that Ted Bundy/Charles Manson look women love and cherish so well.
It was a little unnerving, and I had to give him my name so they could call me when my order was ready. I wasn't quick enough to think to give him a false name. When I was at the register he passed by a few times, taking orders to people, and each time he would stare at me creepily again.
And then he messed up my order! I ordered a chicken salad, and he brought a chicken salad sandwich. I guess I should have asked for a chicken salad salad.
Fortunately he brought the food and left, and I told the guy working the register about it, and he corrected the order. If Bundy Manson had been the only one there, I just would have taken the sandwich and left, so my head would still be attached to my body while I ate my lunch.
Okay, okay, I'm sure he's not actually a serial killer, and is probably a perfectly nice young man, but it kind of freaked me out.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Major sporting event today!
A very important sporting event will get underway in just a couple of hours. It will feature rough and tumble play, a passion for the game, ups and downs, twists and turns, and many adorable players. I am referring, of course, to Puppy Bowl IV on Animal Planet.
Watch it and cheer for your favorites! And be sure not to miss the Kitty Half Time Extravaganza.
Watch it and cheer for your favorites! And be sure not to miss the Kitty Half Time Extravaganza.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Damn stupid rodent!
So Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow today, so there will be six more weeks of winter. Stupid groundhog. I am sick of winter already, and it feels like we've six weeks of winter in the last two.
And now we're getting more snow tomorrow! I'm done with it! I need to move somewhere warm and non-snowy. But on the bright side, as Stephanie pointed out, with so much frequent snow, we haven't had an inversion yet this winter, to which I say YAY!! I like being able to breathe.
And inversions are ugly and depressing, too. So I'll take the cold and snow and cloudy days, if it means I can breathe and be able to see the blue skies and the mountains and the sun on most days.
And now we're getting more snow tomorrow! I'm done with it! I need to move somewhere warm and non-snowy. But on the bright side, as Stephanie pointed out, with so much frequent snow, we haven't had an inversion yet this winter, to which I say YAY!! I like being able to breathe.
And inversions are ugly and depressing, too. So I'll take the cold and snow and cloudy days, if it means I can breathe and be able to see the blue skies and the mountains and the sun on most days.
Friday, February 1, 2008
My First Time
I was at dinner tonight with a bunch of hookers, and they thought I should give this blogging thing a try. I thought about it and decided that my life is so wonderful and fascinating that as many people as possible should be privy to it, so here it is.
I had a wonderful time at dinner tonight. The food was good, the company was excellent, and Nikolas was sooooo adorable! The other ladies there shouldn't be jealous that Nikolas loved me best, I'm just irresistible that way.
I know you'll say that it was the pretty beads on my necklace that he loved, but that would just be you all being jealous Hos.
I don't have many plans for the weekend, I think I'll spend a lot of time getting my blog looking all fancy and pretty.
Love to my Peeps!
I had a wonderful time at dinner tonight. The food was good, the company was excellent, and Nikolas was sooooo adorable! The other ladies there shouldn't be jealous that Nikolas loved me best, I'm just irresistible that way.
I know you'll say that it was the pretty beads on my necklace that he loved, but that would just be you all being jealous Hos.
I don't have many plans for the weekend, I think I'll spend a lot of time getting my blog looking all fancy and pretty.
Love to my Peeps!
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